271: How to Overcome Perfectionism and Cultivate Self-Love in the Digital Age with Daisy Jing and Ella Magers


DAISY JING – From Acne to Beauty

We all want to be beautiful. We all want to be perfect. Why? Because we’ve been sold the idea that we need to be perfect to be acceptable. This is especially true when it comes to our skin. It has to be pore-less, flawless, smooth, wrinkle-free – that’s a lot to worry about. We’re all trying to fit into some standardized idea of beauty… a standard created by marketing experts to sell us products and services!


Daisy’s quest for perfection started in the 3rd grade. As her acne developed, she was determined to get rid of it and make her skin perfect. She visited dozens of dermatologists, tried hundreds of “miracle” products, antibiotics, benzo-peroxide skincare… nothing worked. In fact, many of these products made the acne worse. Check out Episode 220 for her healing story.


This struggle with perfection is what motivated Daisy to start her own all-natural skincare brand, Banish, that removes acne scars and is gentle on skin. But more importantly, Daisy went on a journey to let go of the need to be perfect.


After all, what is perfectionism? Isn’t it just a symptom of feeling that you’re not good enough? It’s a control issue. Trying to control how you appear to others, hiding your “flaws” so that you become acceptable. This is crazy. Each of us is uniquely beautiful, we all have a light to share. 


So how do you let go of the need to be perfect? For Daisy, it was focusing on something bigger than herself. As she focused on her YouTube channel, offering advice, sharing her struggles and responding to viewers, her focus shifted from appearance-obsession to helping others. This changed everything. 


If you want to be comfortable in your skin, you’ve got to get outside your head. After all, what do you notice about other people? Do you notice their wrinkles and pimples, or do you notice their friendly smile, cool outfit, positive attitude? 



Beyond Your Skin

You’re not defined by your looks. You’re defined by the difference you make in other people’s lives. So, what can you do? Give back. Volunteer at a homeless shelter, organize a campaign, do a clean-up, get involved helping your community, help those in your immediate circle who are struggling, make their life a bit better. Your journey is your gift to the world, any struggles you’ve gone through are ways you can help others.


Acne goes deeper than your skin

Your skin is your biggest organ, and it tells you whether something is off. Acne is a sign of a deeper issue – unbalanced hormones, inflammation, poor gut health. Skincare is only 20% of the solution. You need to start from the inside. Going vegan, quitting junk foods, giving up dairy can all help. Once you’ve got your diet sorted out, then you can look at skincare. 


A natural way to clearer skin

The latest Banish product, Banisher 2.0, will help you on your journey to becoming comfortable in your skin. It’s a patented device with 24 carat plated tiny needles, that prick the skin and force it to heal by producing more collagen and elastin (known as micro-needling). Combined with Banish oil (made fresh every day with ascorbic acid – the most potent form of vitamin C), it accelerates the healing and rejuvenating process. You’ll get a glow from the first day. Coupon Code FOODHEALS gives you $10 off your purchase. 


ELLA MAGERS – From poor body image and disordered eating to self-acceptance


At just 7 years old, Ella Magers already knew her mission was to save the animals and help our planet. By the time she was a teenager, she was sitting on the side of the road trying to raise awareness of the plight of factory farmed animals.


Her struggle with perfectionism really began in her early twenties. She was working in the fitness industry, and she decided that the way to promote the vegan lifestyle was to be so perfect, so lean, so muscular, that people would want to find out how she got there. 


Unfortunately, this made life impossible. When Ella looked in the mirror, all she saw was her flaws. Her quest for a perfect body led her down a dark path of unhealthy behaviors like extreme calorie counting and binging. On the outside, she was a picture of vegan health, but behind closed doors, Ella saw herself as fat and restricted her food. Because all her focus was on something else – helping animals – Ella disconnected with herself. 


Isn’t that what so many of us do these days? We’re taking care of everyone else, too busy with our children, our families, our work… and we neglect to work on ourselves, to cultivate that self-acceptance that helps us to live a joyful, purposeful life, that helps us be the best version of ourselves, and, ultimately, helps us make a bigger positive impact on the world. 


In the digital age we live in now, we’re constantly comparing ourselves to other people – or profiles. How can we get over that? How can we know that we are fine just as we are? Well a good place to start is to say: I am perfectly imperfect. Because that’s what we all are. 


We need to reprogram ourselves to get us out of that mental space of “I’m not good enough”. The first step is to acknowledge it. 


  • Get into observation mode – pause and figure out the thoughts that are making you feel like crap. 
  • Use affirmations to change those thoughts from negative to positive. 
  • Reconnect with gratitude for your body.
  • Be patient – it will take time.
  • Share – you don’t have to do it alone. Connect with like-minded women to find that support.
  • Start with the emotional aspect first, be gentle with yourself.
  • Approach yourself with curiosity and compassion (instead of judgement).
  • Check out Ella’s Self-Empowerment Coaching System – a structured program for really looking at where you are right now, taking your power back, and falling in love with you.


Just focusing on the food or the workouts will only work for a short time. Unless you tackle the root cause of why you’re where you are right now, change will not last. And the root is how you view yourself. Whether you love yourself or not. Self-love is the pre-requisite for making sustainable changes in your life.


Through nutrition, veganism, muay thai boxing and self-love practices, Ella came out of the darkness of disordered eating, and now leads a body-positive life. She runs the Plant Empowered Coaching program where she helps her tribe adopt a vegan lifestyle and love the skin they’re in – without counting calories or feeling restricted. Got to www.SexyFitVegan.com for the details or to apply for a free break-through session. 


What you’ll learn in Episode 271:

  • Why are we pushed towards perfectionism?
  • How to get out of your own head
  • The single thing to do if you feel sad
  • How Daisy and Ella beat perfectionism
  • How to cultivate self-love
  • The number one thing to increase your self confidence
  • The good and bad of social media
  • The absolute #1 thing you need to prioritize 
  • Daisy’s strategies to minimize social media 
  • How to heal your skin from the inside out
  • Are you taking the focus away from loving you?
  • How to get out of the comparison trap
  • Have we been programmed to feel not good enough?
  • The magic affirmation to use when your mind gets in the way
  • Could your excess weight be emotion-based?


Our favorite moments:

@14:30 Lean into authenticity 

@17:10 You’ve got to get outside of your head

@49:30 She’s seriously the OG

@51:18 Share with the people

@55:55 Preach!

@1:05:46 It has to be uncomfortable


Available anywhere you listen to podcasts!

Apple Podcasts



And so many more!




Daisy YouTube

Banish Instagram 

Sexy Fit Vegan

Sexy Fit Vegan Instagram 

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